Haunting Anorexic

Ever since I first saw this photo it has haunted me.  No, this picture is not photoshopped or airbrushed.

I went on a search tonight, once again, trying to find out who this model is/was.  Obviously it wasn't someone famous for modeling but being that thin I thought there must be more information out there on her.  Part of my search included looking at photoshopped pics of models.  Many anorexic looking models really aren't that thin, as you can see on this page that shows the airbrushed comparisons (its in french but you'll get the whole idea).  Somehow I stumbled upon a link while going thru google images checking info on each copy of this pic, that led me to the photographer's actual page.  I still had to do a little more digging to get more information other than it one a photo of the year contest in 2007.  What I've found out is:

The photo is titled "Marta" ... so I assume that's her name.  This IS an actual photo, there is no touching up, airbrushing, photoshopping.  What you see is her, plain and simple, haunting in her near death body.  The photo was actually taken in 2006.  The photographer, Andrzej Dragan, is from Poland.  He'd happened upon Marta's photo's she'd submitted to a modeling agency.  She was turned down by them.  He took the opportunity to photograph her, showing us a stark reality of the damage of anorexia.  Last report I could find was in 2007/2008 where he said she had gone into treatment and was recovering.

Here is another pose of Marta that easily found on the internet:

thinspo?

With the death of Isabelle Caro I got to looking at some thinspo material just out of curiosity.  What I see is a lot of extremely underweight girls. Girls. Most being teenagers, some in early 20s.  Kids.  I think back to when I was that age, when I was thin. I weighed 115 pounds, a BMI of 19.1--still in the healthy range but at the bottom.  5 pounds less and I would have been "underweight".  And as a teenager, I had some almost anorexic habits, except now days they have the buzzword "drunkorexia" for it.  I literally would refuse to eat all day so that when we went out drinking I could get drunk faster.  (Hence part of why I no longer drink.)  After I sobered up and went off to college I started the typical weight gain "freshman 15" etc.  I remember there being a girl in the dorm who was anorexic--skeletal and had that fine downy hair all over her.  Not something you aspire to when you see it in person.

Fast forward approx 20 years and lots of additional pounds later.  I now look at these "thinspo" photos and can't imagine ever being that thin again.  Do I want it? Honestly, Yes.  Am I willing to starve myself for it? No. I know enough about nutrition and I've read enough about the damage anorexia does.  I don't need to read about the damage bulimia does and its never been an option for me, my mother was one.  I see the damage first hand. I know in order to successfully lose weight, and keep it off, I need to eat.  Not overeat, not under eat.

I look in the mirror, I see a jelly belly, thunder thighs, big butt. In some thinspo pics, the girls hip bones stick out so far that their panties actually don't touch their abdomen.   I tried to find my hip bones last night, they are buried deep lol.

Unhealthy Barbie

The progression of Unhealthy Barbie.